parenting: to minivan or not to minivan
Spoiler Alert: We are now owners of a minivan (a 7-seater Toyota Sienna).
Before our twins arrived, we were convinced that we could make our current cars work. We already had a perfectly good 2013 Toyota Prius and a trusty 2006 Subaru Outback. Surely, with a little strategic car seat placement, we could make it work for our soon-to-be family of five, right? The thought of getting a minivan? Definitely not on our radar.
I’ll pass on the minivan
Minivans just weren't "me." Growing up, I'd always associated them to with that classic "soccer mom" image, and frankly, that was not my style. Growing up, I did not play soccer, and therefore I never wanted to be a soccer mom.
Fast forward, as a family we also were getting more into e-biking, so trying to travel more via e-bike juxtaposed with also owning a minivan seemed a little contradictory. We also strive to live a more minimalistic lifestyle, and we didn’t want to “grow into” a minivan life.
The Reality Check: Three Car Seats Don't Magically Fit
Our first hurdle was the car seats themselves. We had our toddler's car seat, plus an infant car seat from our first pregnancy, and a recently acquired used infant car seat from a kind neighbor. Three car seats. That's where the dream started to crumble.
I'd heard about "The Car Seat Lady" website (three across recipes), and a quick look confirmed our worst fears: neither our Prius nor our Outback could safely accommodate two rear-facing infant car seats and one forward-facing toddler car seat across a single row. We briefly entertained the idea of getting three ultra-slim car seats, but fitting them in such tight quarters, especially with two rear-facing, felt like an almost impossible (and potentially very frustrating) daily challenge.
The Search Begins: SUV vs Minivan
So, the inevitable conversation began: we needed to get another car. Our search quickly narrowed down to electric or hybrid vehicles, aligning with our desire to be more eco conscious. For purely emotional reasons, I was strongly pushing for an SUV. We looked at everything – the Tesla Model Y, the Rivian, Toyota and Kia.
I spent hours poring over Reddit threads, reading reviews from parents in similar situations. The resounding message? The Tesla Model Y was generally considered too small for three car seats, and almost everyone with three kids emphatically said: "Get a minivan." Still, my minivan resistance persisted.
The Turning Point: A YouTube Video Changed Everything
My "aha!" moment came from an unexpected source: a YouTube video (direct link here). It featured a dad of three reviewing different electric SUVs, including the Rivian, Tesla Model X, and a Kia model. As I watched him discuss the pros and cons, two major points hit me hard:
Trunk Space: The SUV trunks, even in the larger models, simply weren't big enough for a family of five on a road trip. Thinking about a double stroller, luggage, and all the miscellaneous baby gear, I realized we'd be playing Tetris every time we left the driveway. In the biggest trunk they reviewed, you probably could fit a double stroller and 2 - 3 duffles in the biggest trunk.
Third Row Legroom: The third-row legroom in these SUVs was likely not going to be comfortable for growing kids, especially once they hit junior high. The thought of needing to buy another car down the line because we were sizing out was a hard pass. Suddenly, the minivan started to look like a long-term, practical investment.
The Toyota Sienna Saga: A Facebook Group to the Rescue
We landed on the Toyota Sienna, drawn to its reliability and hybrid efficiency. We also specifically wanted all-wheel drive and leather seats, as we'd heard leather was significantly easier to clean with little ones. This combination often meant looking at the seven-seater Sienna models.
However, we quickly discovered that Siennas are incredibly popular, especially in the San Francisco Bay Area, with long waitlists and significant dealership markups. The dealership near our house quoted us a markup of several thousand dollars, which we were not willing to pay.
My husband, ever resourceful (and frugal) found a Facebook group called "No Markup Toyota" It was a community that matched people in search of vehicles with Toyota dealers, who were trying to move vehicles quickly. We got incredibly lucky! After contacting a few dealers through the group, we found one a few hours away who was willing to sell us close enough to what we wanted, the very next day, at MSRP.
Note: This took my husband maybe 6-8 weeks, and initially we were going to ship the car from out of state.
Full transparency, we didn't actually get our Sienna until the twins were about a month and a half old. Until then, we relied on a two-car strategy, with the grandparents joining us to transport everyone.
Life with the Minivan: A Game-Changer
The week after we finally got the minivan, I was completely sold. One afternoon, it was pouring rain, and my husband had to run into the library to print something. What should have been a quick trip turned into a 45-minute to an hour ordeal. During that time, I was in the van with both twins. They woke from their naps, hungry. All within the van, I nursed one, bottle-fed the other, and then, of course, one of them had a major poop and needed a diaper change.
In that moment, I realized the true value of the minivan. I was able to handle everything – feeding two babies, changing a massive diaper – all within the comfortable, dry, spacious confines of the van.
Our current seating arrangement has been working out beautifully for our family of five. We have the twins in the captain's chairs in the middle row, and our toddler in the back row, behind the driver's side. If I'm riding with the kids, I'll usually sit with my toddler in the third row. This allows us to scoot the passenger seat forward all the way up, giving me ample room get in and out of the car with the infant car seat there, and also enough room in the third row to sit comfortably with our toddler. When we don't have our toddler with us, I'll sit in the passenger seat.
When the twins were very little, I could even use the two seats in the back to nurse them tandem, bringing my nursing pillow and squeezing in. Now that they’re bigger (longer), I’m starting to nurse them individually in the back. And for our 2.5-year-old toddler, he absolutely loves the adventurous opportunity to exit the car through the trunk – a special treat we save for opportunistic occasions!
Also, especially on days when I have all three kids, we definitely use the opportunity to press the van sliding door buttons as an motivator for our toddler to get in the car. We do remind him constantly to not touch the doors and to stand back when the doors are opening and closing.
My Advice to Other Parents
If you're dreading the minivan decision, I get it. But my biggest piece of advice is this: don't let preconceived notions or "image" stand in the way of true practicality and sanity. Test fit your specific car seats, consider your family's future needs, and be open to the possibility that the vehicle you initially resisted might just be the perfect fit for your chaotic, wonderful, growing family. You might just find yourself, like me, a very happy, minivan advocate.