bittersweet

We just had our fourth month pediatrician appointment for the twins, and I finally got what I’d been counting down for. The green light to sleep train or “coach” them. I was exhilarated to hear that they were healthy and strong enough to do it, but also a tinge of sadness. They seem to be growing up so quickly.

She also mentioned that we could start introducing solids, and we could put them in high chairs now at dinner so they could see us eat. Now that just seemed absurd. Where has time gone?

So until we pick a day to sleep train, I’m holding the boys a little bit tighter and a little bit longer. I remember this feeling with our elder too, thinking that pretty soon I wouldn’t see him until the morning. Letting them fall asleep on my shoulder, with this chubby cheek pressed against mine, even though I smell like spit up.

Trying to enjoy every moment - the tired ones, the hard ones, the ones that seem mundane, the crying ones - because I know those too will pass with the chubby cheeks, and the poppy diapers. I know I’ll miss those as well.