Before the babies arrived, I was actually more nervous about navigating the toddler-newborn dynamic. Introducing a new baby, let alone two, to a toddler is a delicate dance. I quickly learned a few key strategies:

Note: Our toddler was 26 months when the littles were born.

The Introduction: Instead of holding the newborns during the first meeting, we placed them in car seats or bassinets, allowing our toddler to approach them on their own terms.
Involvement is Key: We made sure to involve our toddler in caring for the twins, asking for help retrieving diapers, or bottles, or what he thought the babies needed.
Positive Reinforcement: We showered our toddler with compliments whenever he was gentle touching and helping the babies. We also would purposefully talk about him when he was near about how gentle he was or how helpful he was what a great big brother he is being by doing things that we wanted him to do.
Acknowledging Needs: We were careful not to "blame the baby" for any delays or changes, instead acknowledging our toddler's needs and promising dedicated time. For example, "Mom needs five more minutes with the babies, and then I'd love to play."
Dedicated 1:1 Time: We prioritized 10-15 minutes of daily one-on-one time with our toddler to fill their emotional "cup." This definitely was key and I learned that it’s not just the time, but really giving them your full attention. One of the recommendations was to follow their lead, and try not to ask them questions. Instead, narrate what they are doing and mirror their actions and their pace.
Consistency: We tried to maintain as much consistency as possible in our toddler's routine. For example, trying to have my husband or me do drop-offs over grandparents.
Your friends have younger siblings too! This was probably luck, but a number of our elder’s friends were also becoming siblings, so probably multiple times a week we would remind our son that “did you know that Calvin is going to be a big brother too”? Reminding him that these changes were also happening to other friends as well.
Anticipating Regressions: We anticipated some regressions (eg. 26 month sleep regression) and focused on quality one-on-one time and consistency to help our toddler navigate the changes. Our elder ended up having a major sleep regression when he was about 31 months, and the sleep consultant helped us realize it was likely a delayed regression due to all of the changes with the new babies. To summarize how we got through it, I spent a lot more 1:1 time with our elder, and tried to do more “wind downs” and gave him lots of reinforcement about the importance of sleep.

We had a few you’re going to be a big brother books, but our son didn’t show much interest in reading them. Interestingly he is more interested in reading them now that they are born, and we’ll read them to remind him that he needs to be gentle with the littles, etc. Now he might love them “too much” so that we need to make sure that he doesn’t smother them with love.

parenting: prepping the toddler for the new baby (or babies)