parenting: things no one told me … about labor
I am exactly 4 weeks postpartum today, and I’m here writing this while breast-feeding my first kid. Let’s be honest most of this is voice to text. Thought I’d share some things that I learned after delivery while I was still fresh.
Hospital bag: Definitely pack your bag beforehand, and there are a lot of hospital bag lists out there, but this is what I actually used. My phone charger, my toothbrush, and toiletries, an eye mask, and the comfy pajama pants (that I wore leaving the hospital). Also, don’t forget to bring an outfit for the baby and lots of snacks for both you and your hospital buddy for after delivery. The hospital provided all of the postpartum care products (including a gown, underwear, etc.), and so I didn’t end up opening my duffle at all. We stayed in the hospital for two nights, and basically did not leave the room and ordered delivery for dinner. Note: My husband packed things for himself, and I’m not sure what he used.
Contractions: I read what contractions felt like, but it didn’t translate to what I felt. When my contractions started, I though it was a bowl movement, and I was severely constipated. I didn’t know I was going into labor until I realized that these feelings were consistently five minutes apart. Reminder: You should go to the hospital when it’s 5-1-1 ( contractions are five minutes apart, one minute long, for one hour).
Epidural: Spoiler alert this is NOT a shot. My epidural procedure took 15 minutes (they said that was pretty quick), and beforehand I needed to intake a full IV bag (which also takes time). As a result, by the time I ended up getting the epidural, i was REALLY ready for the epidural. Note: You’re also having contractions while they’re putting in the epidural. The nurse reassured me that these would be the most painful contractions, and then it will get a lot better. She was right and I’m really glad I got the epidural. Keep in mind that after the epidural, you’re not supposed to eat any solids and you’re basically in bed for the rest of labor. They will also insert a catheter (not painful at all), which is weirdly nice because then you don’t have to get up to use the bathroom every hour (like you have been for the past handful of months).
Swelling: My feet were more swollen after delivery than during my pregnancy. The nurse said that was normal, and also reminded me that I had four IV bags during the delivery, and my body just need to flush it out. It took about a week for my feet to go back to normal size. Also, apparently you lose all of that extra pregnancy fluid through sweating? So get a waterproof mattress cover (or one of those larger pads to lie on when you sleep). Be prepared to wake up sweaty from time to time.
The first poop: After moving to the postpartum room, they gave me ibuprofen and stool softeners. I was so nervous to take my first bowl movement because everything felt so raw and swollen, and also I didn’t want to rip my perineal stitches. The nurse said that it would just get worse if I didn’t go, so I should just but the bullet. I asked why they didn’t give us laxatives. Yes it was painful, but I imagine it would have just gotten worse. Recommendation: Take stool softeners starting week 37 in case you deliver early. Stool softeners take a few days to work, and hopefully you’ll feel more confident taking that first poop. It will be ok.
My body: For context, I had a vaginal delivery, and had average tearing of the perineum (second degree). Apparently the postpartum bleeding can last up to 6 weeks, and during this time the uterus is 1) contracting back to its normal size and 2) repairing itself since the placenta was torn off the uterus wall. I bled for about a week, and then was spotting for the next 1-2 weeks. I found the witch hazel to be the most helpful, and then the ice packs. It took a little over a week for me to feel pretty much back to normal. Prior, I described my pelvic floor as feeling “shredded”. I also didn’t walk anywhere I didn’t need to for about 2-3 (so 4-5 days including the hospital stay).
Recommendation: Buy all the postpartum products you think you’ll need, but don’t open them and save the receipts until after you get home from the hospital. Wait to see what the hospital gives you.
Have the following items at home, ready: long period pads (and maybe some liners), nursing pads (disposable and/or reusable - you’ll be rotating through a lot), nipple balm
Quick and easy / frozen meals: As much as you think you’ll have your act together, I highly recommend having some quick and easy meals like frozen food in the freezer. (Unless you want to pay an arm and a leg for food delivery or you have someone to cook for you.) I personally underestimated the amount of time that I would be on the couch breast-feeding. Spoiler alert: it’s most of the day. It’s a win if I get to brush my teeth in the morning (showering is a big deal).
Breast Feeding: I understand now when people say that breastfeeding is a journey, and it’s an emotional and physical journey for both mom and baby (and per baby). My baby was tongued tied (and had to get a frenotomy) and we are still practicing our latch, making sure that he opens his mouth really wide. The first time I gave him formula I felt like I failed as a mom, not being able to produce enough milk to sustain my child. In the end, formula helps maintain my sanity, gives my nipples a break, and allows others to provide some extra hands. Side note: you’re going to spend a lot of time breast-feeding, so invest in a cozy spot with a good view because you’ll be spending a good amount of time there.
Embrace the help: Lean into your friends and family and your support system who love you and care about you, and want to help you! This is not a one or two person job, and it’s definitely taxing both physically and emotionally. Take a vantage of the help when it’s there. The best piece of advice I received was - if someone asked to hold the baby, let them! You’ll have plenty of time with the baby later, it’s nice to get a break once in a while, even though you love the baby so much.
